Friday, November 13, 2015

Why my husband doesn't support me

My husband said if I wrote a blog about him that he would read it. Well dear I hope you don't regret that statement for what I'm about to write. There are two main rules for writing- write what you know and tell the truth. What I'm about to tell you readers is both....

I have a husband who doesn't support me.

One of my dear friends, who shall remain nameless (but she reads my blog so you know who you are) has a husband who does the same. In fact, it's one of our favorite things to complain about our men when we are alone together. She's just scratching the surface on branding herself and her business. She has a weekly nutrition segment on television and her husband barely even watches them. When she posts articles to her facebook page or instagram her husband won't even "like" or "share" them. In fact, she says, mostly what he does have to offer is criticism based on what she says or does on tv and pictures that she posts.

As an entrepreneur myself I feel her pain. For the past three years I've been running my own business called Yogi Magee Expeditions. I offer adventure yoga retreats within a budget nearly everyone can afford. I started my own facebook page and instagram and that's how I market and sell out all of my retreats and fill my classes. From my business I have had opportunities to teach corporate yoga and bootcamp as well as barre and cycling at various studios all through town. I'm at the point where managers find me and ask me to teach for them rather than me begging to find jobs. I have to turn down offers to teach all the time because my schedule is just too full. I've been with my said friend above on morning news segments showing workout videos, I've had my classes videotaped and been interviewed for fitness websites and I too am just scratching the surface of my abilities. I market and sell my retreats entirely through social media and word of mouth is growing my business each day.

And I've done all of this without the help of my husband.

And I'm grateful.

You see, the strongest women in business....the most profitable CEO's have never had the help of a man. Just look at Martha Stewart, Oprah, and J.K. Rowling who herself had a failed marriage and abusive ex-husband. Not only are these women self-made but none of them even achieved success before 30 and Rowling was even a self-labeled failure. Closer to home, I am surrounded by amazing women who have all made it without the help of a man. My mentor and friend Dawnelle who owns QiFlow continues to redefine movement and run successful retreats, teacher trainings and her classes pack out. My hair dresser Candace is someone I watched go from renting a space in a small salon to opening her own studio called Foundations Hair Salon on Colfax. She now has her own employees and team of stylists and you can barely get an opening in with her these days. I recently met another beautiful soul named Tricia Olsen who founded a company called FitLo Denver which is a database of fitness teachers and studios that anyone living in Denver or visiting can go to and know they are going to get a butt kicking. Tricia left corporate job and struck out on her own to do something no one else is doing. Did I mention all of these women have a small child at home as well? I'm in awe watching these women grow their businesses and the passion and drive that motivates them even through the darkest times.

To say my husband Chad isn't my biggest fan would be a lie. He sacrifices a lot for me so that I can live my dream. After all someone has to take our daughter to school and watch her while I'm teaching whether that's all over town or in Belize. He works overtime so that I can fly part-time and teach more. He is on single dad duty while I travel to Telluride and Nicaragua to run my retreats. He even came to our yoga and yurts retreat this summer and cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for 21 people just because I asked him too. My husband may not read everything I write, brag about me to his friends or market my retreats for me and that's OK. He forces me to work harder and hustle because of it. As he says, "anyone will kiss your ass, you have plenty of people to do that, few will tell you what you actually need to hear."

It's easy for my friend and I to think our husbands are assholes because they aren't kissing our asses on the daily. We think they should be flattered to call themselves our husbands and the truth is.....they won't outwardly. Yet that doesn't make us any less successful. We shine because of our own hard work and dedication not because of the amount of "likes" our photos get on facebook or instagram. The strongest women, the ones I admire, have many people to thank for their achievements and many who have helped them along the way.....but their self worth isn't tied to what any man (or woman for that matter) thinks for them or does for them.

I'm thankful for all my husband does so that I can shine. Someone once asked me what it was that I thought was the secret to my marriage. After thinking a hot minute I replied simply,

"He lets me be the star and never asks for anything in return."

That, my friends, is why I love my husband so much. Why I have him to thank and not thank for any bit of magic that has happened in my life these past 10 years. He doesn't stand by my side....

He lets me stand on his shoulders.

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