Mt. of the Holy Cross attempt - the universe says otherwise

Ever since my first 14er climb in 2010 I have had a mild obsession with hiking all of Colorado’s peaks over 14,000 feet (of which there are 58). This personal goal and journey is one I can only begin to attempt when the temperature rises and snow melts here in the high country. When I first began to hike I took signs to the top to hold for my summit photo. I quickly realized I did not need this addition as I remember every peak and every climb based on who I’ve hiked with and the challenges I’ve faced. Hiking in the high country is my happy place, somewhere I can go to decompress and unwind. There is no greater feeling to me than packing my car full of gear, filling up the camelbacks, shopping for the perfect trail food and driving off to the land of no cell service and tent sleeping. As I whittled down the list of peaks I also ran through my hiking partners. Some friends had finished all their 14ers and weren’t interested in hiking them twice while others were content with one big hike a year. My husband at one time would humor me and join but after the birth of Charlotte he found the perfect excuse to stay home.

Mt. of the Holy Cross was my first selection to hike this year due to its close proximity to Denver and relatively easy terrain and short distance. I have only three 14ers left in the Sawatch range and the other two are Harvard and Columbia which are a combined hiking trek that would make for a very long day in even the best conditions. Running out of hiking partners, I needed someone who would be willing to join me that wouldn’t shy away from a challenge. Someone strong enough mentally to hike 11 miles yet easy enough to talk to and share a 2 man tent with. I needed someone with a flexible schedule who could leave on a weekday and who didn’t mind letting me take the lead climbing. My friend Margaret was the perfect fit.

 

Margaret and I are both yoga and fitness instructors. We actually met at the training center we both teach at currently. Yoga teachers make the best hiking companions because they are fit, easy going, and take challenges in stride. We also have a pretty rooted belief in the universe and how it will not only provide for you but also give you signs for what is to be. In theory these signs would be pretty straightforward and ones we would acknowledge and follow. Our Mt. of the Holy Cross hike was full of signs from the beginning…yet the stubbornness inside us both refused to listen.

It started with the gate to the road being locked. I pride myself on checking weather and trail conditions and being up to speed down to the cairns to spot on every mountain I climb yet there was nothing about Tigiwon road being closed. We arrived at the gate at 9pm after a late start (another sign) and decided we might as well get to hiking the road to the trailhead. The road was 8 miles which would add an extra 16 to an already 11 mile round trip hike. Our intended plan had been to hike in from the trailhead and camp overnight in order to attempt an early summit push. Obviously this was not ideal but we set out on the road and walked in the dark for 3.5 hours. There’s something both beautiful and frightening about hiking alone in the wilderness underneath the stars. At 12:45am we finally called it and pitched our tent which we could not get properly set up (another sign) and settled in for three hours of sleep.

Friday was beautiful. The weather was perfect and the trail conditions started out fantastic. The grade was gradual and we enjoyed the sunrise and the sounds of nature all around us. In the woods there’s no cell phones to distract you, no traffic or too many people around. You can really enjoy someone’s company and get to know them with each and every step. Sometimes there’s just silence too and it’s not awkward it’s refreshing. Margaret is probably one of the fastest people I’ve hiked with and she stayed close behind me for pretty much the whole journey as our dogs trotted together in front of us. Somewhere along 11,700 feet however the snow on the trail began to pick up and it got harder to find our way. Mosquitos were horrible and any time we tried to stop and check the compass or map we’d be eaten alive. I had brought bug spray but the canister wouldn’t spray right (thanks universe!) leaving us at the mercy of nature. We punched through snow drifts that were waist high and kicked steps into others to avoid sliding down the mountain as we traversed. Somewhere in the trees the trail became impossible to see and there were no foot prints to follow anymore. No one had been back there yet it seemed and if they had they left no trace. I lost my camera at one point when I set my pack down and it rolled away. Signs, signs, everywhere signs and we couldn’t read them. Wouldn’t read them. We wanted to keep going as we knew the summit was only a few miles away but we had no choice but to make the call to turn around.

At 10am after about 12 miles of hiking we made the decision to head back for the car. The mountain would always be there but if we kept going and got lost there was no guarantee we would return safely if ever. People call the holy cross wilderness the Bermuda triangle because hikers have died back there getting lost. One man who disappeared during the summer was only located from tent remains the following year. We didn’t want to be a statistic so we finally listened to the universe and began the long journey back to the car.

A year or two ago I don’t think my ego would have allowed this type of decision. I have always reached the summit of each peak I climbed but I won’t say there weren’t bad decisions made doing so. My ego has always been bigger than my fear and it’s constantly urged me forward on and off the mountain. Now that I have a child though things are different. I realize life is not just about me and I can’t let my decisions ruin someone else’s life. Our egos can often get the best of us and lead to decisions we ultimately regret. It’s what gets people trapped on ledges on high peaks they can’t climb down, it’s what causes a bulging disk in the neck from lifting too heavy, it’s what makes us feel like superman for a moment but flat on our faces the next.

At 4pm after 26 miles of hiking and no summit, Margaret and I made it back to the car. We didn’t have a summit under our belts but it didn’t matter. This hike made me realize that this truly was about the journey and not the destination. We didn’t blame each other, the weather, the mountain or the snow. We chalked it up to experience and enjoyed the fact that at 10am on a Friday morning we were hiking where no one else was instead of sitting behind an office desk. We saw and experienced things most people never in their lifetime see or get to do and for us that was enough for the day. We made plans and the universe had others and that’s just how life can be sometime. You can be angry or grateful for the lesson.

The best part is we get to go back again in July and experience the mountain for a second time. I never hike mountains twice because I have so many other peaks to obtain….but I guess the universe wants me to see this one again.

This time I’ll be listening.

 

 

 

 

The addiction of Social Media

Best friends, I have a confession...I am addicted to facebook. I guess if you truly know me this will come as no shock. It is so much a part of my life that it's the first thing I check when I get up in the morning and the last thing I check before I go to sleep. My husband once bet me $100 that I could not go without the social media site for a week because that's how deep he saw my addiction. The promise of a $100 Lululemon shopping spree was enough to motivate me to win the bet but that was a tough week. I deleted the application on my phone and deactivated my account so there could be no temptation and channeled my energy into texting and calling friends instead. Remember when we use to call and talk to our friends and share our news? If something good or bad happened in our lives, our closest friends and family would know first because they would be at the top of our call list. Now everything, and I mean everything, hits facebook first BEFORE our eyes and ears.

The ability to reach a large audience with news in an instant is both a blessing and a curse. In my opinion it is ruining our lives and our relationships.

My sister sent me this blog story the other day that highlights the worst case scenario for instant news: http://keepcalmandhaveacosmo.blogspot.com/2014/03/racing-facebook-new-challenge-for.html The writer of the blog discusses how a woman named Theresa Jones found out via facebook that her husband Landon, a helicopter pilot, died in a crash on deployment. Before the Causality Assistance Call Officers could even reach her doorstep she discovered postings on facebook that tipped her off to the fact her husband had been involved in a crash and ultimately did not survive. Can you imagine the horror? Because friends were so eager to share information and offer their condolences they had posted links to information about the crash. They probably assumed if the information were readily available to them that this man's wife and family already knew as well. Social media has given us a way to tweet, blog and facebook post in real time about things that may have only happened seconds or minutes before. We have become accustomed to passing on information and sharing so much that we don't even stop to think if the information is ours to share.

When my baby was born I had a list of friends I wanted to share pictures and news with before posting anything on facebook. We had waited to find out the gender so I was especially eager to share the name and details. The day after Charlotte was born I decided I wanted to make an announcement on facebook and saw someone had posted on my site a congratulations for having a girl. I had not said anything about being in labor or having delivered my baby except to those I had called and texted so I was furious. Luckily I was able to delete the post before anyone saw so I could release the information myself. I know the congratulations was well intentioned but it was my news to share first and I didn't want anyone to steal my moment. This was precisely why I announced my pregnancy so early on because I didn't want the excitement of me announcing to be taken away by anyone else who knew.

I found out my very best friends baby was born on facebook before I even got a text from her because a mutual friend posted something about it first. From deaths to births, break-ups, engagements, wedding photos, surprise parties and even new romances...it seems nothing is immune from being shared via social media these days. My husband maintains that if one chooses to be a part of social media than the risk you are taking is that you will have something revealed to you or about you that you didn't authorize. While I agree to an extent, I also believe that if it isn't your news don't share it.

Repeat after me friends, "I will not share news that isn't mine to share." There. You've just saved yourself from the fall out of any and every relationship you deem valuable. When you see a friend with a sparkly new diamond ring on THAT finger in yoga class, don't go home and write on her facebook, "Congratulations!" when you see no one else has said anything. Perhaps she hasn't had time to call her aunt yet who just happens to be on facebook as well. Don't twitter about your best friend's desire for lime popsicles means she has to be pregnant if she hasn't told you herself. If you really want to congratulate someone or ask a question about the status of their life why not just call them? Or better yet, wait until they tell you themselves. When I was pregnant I really disliked friends early on asking if I was pregnant because I wasn't drinking or staying out late, etc. If I wanted to broadcast the news I would in my own time and it put me in an awkward spot to either lie or swear them to secrecy.

So my friends, how has social media ruined your lives or at the very least your day? Have you ever had an unflattering photo of yourself posted at a birthday party you didn't want anyone knowing you were attending? Did you tell your mom you couldn't come visit because you weren't feeling well only to have your friend "tag" you out at the brewery with them? While information sharing has its perks and can alert us to danger, highway conditions or work closures, it can also cause a lot of heartache and anxiety. So the next time you have the urge to share ask yourself, "Is this MY news to tell? Does it benefit anyone from hearing this from me as opposed to the source?" If not, let's follow the elementary school rules of keeping to ourselves.

Motherhood as a competitive sport

For all my childless friends out there, I'm going to let you in on a little secret I had no idea about until I had a baby. It's a secret most mothers know but few will admit too. You've probably bared witness to it from the outside but had no idea how deep the iceberg went underneath the surface. Men don't understand it and balk at it. I tried to resist myself but have gotten swept away with the tide when I went over board.

Yes my friends....motherhood is a competitive sport.

I suppose it all begins with the pregnancy. Social media has exploited every last shred of our privacy so there's the pressure to make some grandiose announcement that you are expecting. Then comes the baby shower which, thanks to the Kardashians, has turned into more of an expectation for a huge party complete with gift bags rather than some tea and cake celebrating the mom-to-be. I'll admit I wanted the Pinterest perfect baby shower complete with a signature drink and monogrammed napkins but that just wasn't reality. After the baby's born then there's the "baby's here" announcement to which you must post a photo that's both timely and creative and nowadays - professional. With the introduction of professional birth photographers, there's the opportunity to have the biggest day of your lives documented to share with who else but your hundred closest friends and family. You don't even have to be camera ready...that's what blurred effects and photoshop are for.

Once upon a time, "keeping up with the joneses" meant professional landscaping and having a nice car in the driveway. We compared ourselves with our friends and neighbors but only to the point of what we could outwardly see. We didn't have a glimpse inside the private moments that we do now. Today we see everything from how many presents our frenemy in high school bought her child for Christmas to what our neighbors five year old birthday party was like. Social media has allowed us to share and overshare and consequentially has simultaneously lowered our self esteem and raised our expectations.

Let me tell you friends, the other mothers out there are fierce competitors. Seeing professional photos of other newborns led me to believe I too needed to pay for this luxury. And it is a luxury I must say. When I was born my parents took a few polaroid's and called it a day. Apparently however there's a deadline for when said newborn photos should be taken and at four weeks, my baby was past her baby modeling prime. The result was less than stellar pictures that made me feel horrible and my bank account sad. Never mind that I had taken about 300 other photos with my perfectly nice camera, in comparison I had failed my first duty as a new mom- professionally document life.

So I tried my best to keep up to this self imposed standard of being a good mom. We bought costumes and took photos at the pumpkin patch. We sat on Santa's lap and paid $40 for the "first Christmas" package. Charlotte had a professionally monogrammed stocking and I tried my best to fill it with baby appropriate toys. I tried my hand at making my own baby food, blogged about the major milestones saved every card and note Charlotte received to put into the baby book. Everything I saw other moms do that seemed like a "good mom thing to do" I did. I thought, if I could just have what the other moms had and do what the other moms did I might actually be considered good enough to join the ranks.

Charlotte's first birthday party was my moment to redeem myself from my shortcomings through the year. I hired a party planner and caterer and almost had a photographer come as well. Almost. My husband didn't understand why we needed to do one year photos or have a cake for Charlotte that was specifically for smashing in said photos. "Why are we doing this again?" he asked over and over. "What is the point?"

That's a question I started to internalize after Charlotte's birthday once I regained my sanity. What indeed is the point in trying to keep up with other moms? What is the use in comparing? If our child's birthday party isn't Pinterest worthy are they still loved? Do we ever do enough? The answer, I have found, is that we will always fall short when we start to compare and to compete. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." With social media I had been able to get a glimpse into the life of mother's around me and everyone it seemed was on a mission to outdo one another. So I have decided that from this point forward I would try and take myself out of the game and instead love and celebrate my child in a way that benefits us both.

Because no one sees the things that truly make us wonderful moms. People don't post pictures of themselves reading to their children at night or cleaning up vomit from the carpet from a sick baby. Friends don't share late night breast feeding sessions or

Conundrum Hiking + Yoga Retreat in Aspen Colorado October 3-5, 2014. Your fall colors adventure awaits!

Yogi Magee Expeditions is thrilled to announce dates and location for our Fall Colors Hiking Retreat. This retreat will be an express retreat especially designed for those who only have a two nights and three days to get away. We all have busy lives but you deserve to take some time for yourself to reconnect with nature, enjoy uninterrupted yoga sessions and soak in healing hot springs waters unspoiled by development. This hiking retreat is for those who are physically in shape to handle both altitude and a 2500 foot elevation gain with 16 miles roundtrip and 7 hours of hiking. The hike may be long but the reward is soaking in these beautiful hot springs surround by the Maroon Bells Wilderness:

Come explore Aspen with Yogi Magee Expeditions! From October 3-5th 2014 we will be lodging in beautiful Aspen, Colorado with a hike Saturday to the Conundrum Hot Springs and a hike Sunday to Crater Lake. Friday night I will hold a yoga session to prepare us for our long hike Saturday and post-hike Saturday we will open up the hamstrings, hips and stretch out our sore muscles with a yoga session back at our private accommodations:

This home is within walking distance to the lifts at Aspen Highlands and is only 2.5 miles from downtown Aspen. Offering 3.5 stories of living space, this retreat features a fully furnished kitchen, wireless internet, and cable tv. The large backyard backs to a private mountain forest perfect for hiking and the expansive deck is perfect for yoga and also boasts a hot tub.

Our hike Sunday will be much shorter than Saturday (about 2.5 miles) and will take us to the magnificent Crater Lake with stunning views of the Maroon Bells (the most photographed mountains in North America) and Pyramid Peak:

The best part about this expedition is it takes place in the fall when the Aspens will be turning their brilliant shade of gold. Expect any weather this time of year from 70 degree temps to snowfall! Rain or shine we will hike, explore, relax, reconnect with nature and you'll be sure to make new friends.

While the hiking on this retreat is not particularly technical it is long, therefor I am limiting the amount of participants to 9. You must be in good health with the ability to hike 16 miles total in the course of a day. The views alone will be worth it and you'll be treated to an experience like no other.

Ready to commit to the adventure to kick start your fall? Sign up below! Cost is $425. $100 deposit required at time of booking or you may pay the amount in full. You'll see three options for payment in the drop down boxes. Price includes three yoga sessions, two hiking excursions, shared accommodations and space for three cars to park (carpooling suggested).Total amount is due 60 days before the retreat. If you have any questions please contact me at natalieallen72@Yahoo.com.

Payment Plans

Deposit $100.00 USD Total Amount $425.00 USD Total minus Deposit $325.00 USD

Don't ever give up on your body

My daughter Charlotte turned one on the 31st of March. It has been a year filled with many firsts from breastfeeding to teething, Christmas and one emergency room visit. The learning curve of course, has been huge and it's been a year of tears, love, happiness, and often loneliness on the journey that is being a new parent. This first year has been a year of readjusting. While I'm getting better at leaving the house in a timely manner, it's not always easy to get yourself plus one ready for the day. I have another schedule to work around, another mouth to feed, a little soul that's constantly begging for my attention and always underfoot when I'm doing anything from vacuuming to showering. The past year was one of sacrifice and choices which were often unpleasant yet freeing. I could deal with selling our house, my dwindling bank account to pay for sitters and substituting happy hours for naps but the one thing I refused to give up in my life was working out.

 

Me in the best shape of my life pre-pregnancy

Can I tell you that standing on a scale a year after Charlotte was born, I'm so happy I never gave up on the body that didn't give up on me.

Let's be clear my best friends...I do not own a scale. I never have. I find them to be the source of unhappiness in life. When I was pregnant the scale taunted me and I hated each appointment where I had to step on it and see the number go up and up. My gym of course has a scale and so that is the only reason I ever knew how much I'd weigh here and there. Parked outside the bathroom, the scale at the gym was a source of amusement for me while waiting my turn to use the restroom. I prefer to go by how my clothing fits but I can say when I saw the number at 125 before I got pregnant I was elated. I worked hard for that number and spent many hours taking yoga classes, pushing myself on the spin bike and refusing to put the weights down in yoga sculpt. I swung kettlebells, box jumped and gymnastics tumbled my way into that 125 number and I was damn proud of it. Not just the number but how much muscle I had added to my body and how lean and healthy I felt and looked.

Here is the thing about pregnancy...no one tells you after you give birth you will go home looking like you are five months pregnant still. The day I gave birth I was 157 so I had gained about 32 pounds with Charlotte. While some of the weight did come off right away due to the baby being born, blood, fluid and placenta loss, I hovered around the 130-135 mark for a long while. Slowly I eased my way back into workouts. Sometimes I'd take Charlotte to the gym with me and park her sleeping self by the elliptical. Other times I'd leave her with Chad while I did yoga. No longer could I take 4 classes in a day because I didn't have the time. Often I would choose spending time with my family over myself and my workouts.

first day home from the hospital

Here's the thing best friends, once something becomes an addiction that addiction is hard to beat. It's always there and it gnaws at the pit of your soul until you become agitated. The less I worked out the meaner I became because I wasn't happy mentally or physically. Maternity pants didn't fit but neither did my old jeans and I became more than annoyed with my body. The baby was out, why didn't it look like it did before? Where were my abs and toned arms? Why did my thighs still touch? I wanted to give in to the craving of working out but I had to do something else first....I had to thank my body for all it had done and I had to forgive it. I could not move forward and find a new normal until I could be grateful for the life my body hosted. I could not find my abs until I thanked my body for allowing me to have a natural birth.

at 41 weeks

It took a year friends. I know celebrities will tell you the weight melts off. I know magazines and friends will say breastfeeding will burn all your calories for you. You have to remember it took nine months to put on the weight and it will take longer to burn it all off. I had to stop buying angel food cakes and ice cream bars like I was still pregnant and start eating right. I had to hit my yoga mat with a new intention to make the most of that 75 minutes. My legs moved faster and spun harder knowing I may only get 30 minutes of cycling in a week. I hiked the hardest 14ers I could and did more yoga in a weekend at Wanderlust than I'd done all year. The end result was not what I was expecting. I didn't get my "old" body back...I earned a new one.

So while the number is the same on the scale my body is not. My belly button is deeper and my boobs are a little smaller stretched. My core isn't as strong as it was but it's getting there. I can do yoga postures like forearm stand and gymnastics moves like piking up that I never could before. My body is reenergized and refocused and I appreciate the fined tuned machine I now know it is. I trust my body more than I ever did before and I understand what it takes to be not just thin but strong.

4 weeks out vs today

Most of all I appreciate the every day. Our bodies are meant to constantly change and grow. Some days the scale will say more...some less. This is not an indicator of my self worth and it shouldn't be to yours either. What should determine your worth is how you feel. I didn't feel good when I wasn't working out and now I can see a difference mentally and physically. It takes a long time to lose the baby weight make no mistake but go at your pace, do what you love and in addition to getting to know your baby get to know yourself again. Your body is not your enemy, it's a giver of life...and whether that's to another human being or just to host your soul...well don't you think that's pretty cool?

Charlotte's web first birthday party

We celebrated Charlotte's first birthday on Saturday and things could not have gone more perfect. The weather was 70 degrees, the first Saturday in awhile it's been so warm, there was hardly any wind and both my parents made it into town. I hired my friend Lacee Muller of I heart Cupcakes to help me bring my ideas to life for Charlotte's party. A Charlotte's web theme was a no brainer and we used the food and décor to bring the barnyard chic idea to life. We started with the invites which had pigs on the envelopes and on the invitations which encouraged people to "get our your barnyard best." We went with a pink, white and red theme which kept it just girly enough to be cute while the red balanced out the farm feel. Lacee sent over an list of all the items she could make and I picked out what I felt would work best. We invited about 40 people but I only ordered a dozen of each food item which ensured we had enough food to satisfy but not enough to go overboard on an afternoon party.

we filled these jars with strawberry milk for the kids

lacee took the extra cake she had and put it into jars with icing which was a hit!

we had everyone sign a copy of Charlotte's web in lieu of a guest book

habanero lemonade

my mom made charlotte's party hat

we had one year photos done by Lisa Pummel photography and displayed them at the party

The food table was the centerpiece of the room. On the other side of the living room guests were greeted with a gift table and pictures from Charlotte's one year photo shoot. This is also where we had the favors which were animal crackers which guests could grab on their way out:

Our house has an awesome outdoor space so I took advantage of that and the nice weather as well. I had Lacee get us two hay bales and bought a little circus tent from Ikea for a "pig pen" area for kids. When I ordered balloons from Party City they had these little air walker balloons so I got the pig and cow and tied them to the hay bales:

We put a tarp down with a blanket on top to create extra seating there as well.

When it came time for the smash cake we brought Charlotte outside and put her in the high chair where we all sang happy birthday to her:

She was a bit overwhelmed but she had a wonderful time overall. She got so many presents too!

Some of which we opened after her afternoon nap and most we saved for the next day.

We really could not have asked for a better turnout for Charlotte's first birthday party. I really want to thank all our friends for coming. We don't have family that lives in town so be surrounded by friends who have seen us through from pre-pregnancy until now is so important. I was very grateful that my mom and dad joined us as they were a big help getting everything together for the party as well. My dad was the one who made the bacon so if you enjoyed that you have him to thank for it! Of the two kegs and 13 gallons of beer we got, only 2 gallons remained the next day so we have some party friends for sure! None of the food was left either at the end of the night so it's a good thing we got some packs of hot dogs and buns for our after party guests.

For those who enjoyed the habanero lemonade here is the recipe. Jordan made it spicier adding a whole pepper and I tweaked the recipe using frozen lemonade concentrate:
http://www.localappetiteny.com/watermelon-habanero-lemonade/

I know we set the bar high as far as first birthdays go but it was my dream to do this for Charlotte. If you know me you know I love birthdays so to be able to throw a party like this was so much fun. I really can't say enough about Lacee and her organizational skills. I could not have put this together if it hadn't been for her. Best of all I stayed within my budget and was able to throw a wonderful party without breaking the bank! I highly recommend contacting her and saving yourself the stress of baking all day before the party. I did the veggie cups, pigs in a blanket, mini almond butter and jelly sandwiches, favors and house cleaning and that was enough for me!