Ever since my first 14er climb in 2010 I have had a mild
obsession with hiking all of Colorado’s peaks over 14,000 feet (of which there
are 58). This personal goal and journey is one I can only begin to attempt when
the temperature rises and snow melts here in the high country. When I first
began to hike I took signs to the top to hold for my summit photo. I quickly
realized I did not need this addition as I remember every peak and every climb
based on who I’ve hiked with and the challenges I’ve faced. Hiking in the high
country is my happy place, somewhere I can go to decompress and unwind. There is
no greater feeling to me than packing my car full of gear, filling up the
camelbacks, shopping for the perfect trail food and driving off to the land of
no cell service and tent sleeping. As I whittled down the list of peaks I also
ran through my hiking partners. Some friends had finished all their 14ers and
weren’t interested in hiking them twice while others were content with one big
hike a year. My husband at one time would humor me and join but after the birth
of Charlotte he found the perfect excuse to stay home.
Mt. of the Holy Cross was my first selection to hike this
year due to its close proximity to Denver and relatively easy terrain and short
distance. I have only three 14ers left in the Sawatch range and the other two
are Harvard and Columbia which are a combined hiking trek that would make for a
very long day in even the best conditions. Running out of hiking partners, I
needed someone who would be willing to join me that wouldn’t shy away from a
challenge. Someone strong enough mentally to hike 11 miles yet easy enough to
talk to and share a 2 man tent with. I needed someone with a flexible schedule
who could leave on a weekday and who didn’t mind letting me take the lead
climbing. My friend Margaret was the perfect fit.
Margaret and I are both yoga and fitness instructors. We
actually met at the training center we both teach at currently. Yoga teachers
make the best hiking companions because they are fit, easy going, and take
challenges in stride. We also have a pretty rooted belief in the universe and
how it will not only provide for you but also give you signs for what is to be.
In theory these signs would be pretty straightforward and ones we would
acknowledge and follow. Our Mt. of the Holy Cross hike was full of signs from
the beginning…yet the stubbornness inside us both refused to listen.
It started with the gate to the road being locked. I pride
myself on checking weather and trail conditions and being up to speed down to
the cairns to spot on every mountain I climb yet there was nothing about
Tigiwon road being closed. We arrived at the gate at 9pm after a late start
(another sign) and decided we might as well get to hiking the road to the
trailhead. The road was 8 miles which would add an extra 16 to an already 11
mile round trip hike. Our intended plan had been to hike in from the trailhead
and camp overnight in order to attempt an early summit push. Obviously this was
not ideal but we set out on the road and walked in the dark for 3.5 hours. There’s
something both beautiful and frightening about hiking alone in the wilderness underneath
the stars. At 12:45am we finally called it and pitched our tent which we could
not get properly set up (another sign) and settled in for three hours of sleep.
Friday was beautiful. The weather was perfect and the trail conditions
started out fantastic. The grade was gradual and we enjoyed the sunrise and the
sounds of nature all around us. In the woods there’s no cell phones to distract
you, no traffic or too many people around. You can really enjoy someone’s
company and get to know them with each and every step. Sometimes there’s just
silence too and it’s not awkward it’s refreshing. Margaret is probably one of
the fastest people I’ve hiked with and she stayed close behind me for pretty
much the whole journey as our dogs trotted together in front of us. Somewhere
along 11,700 feet however the snow on the trail began to pick up and it got
harder to find our way. Mosquitos were horrible and any time we tried to stop
and check the compass or map we’d be eaten alive. I had brought bug spray but
the canister wouldn’t spray right (thanks universe!) leaving us at the mercy of
nature. We punched through snow drifts that were waist high and kicked steps
into others to avoid sliding down the mountain as we traversed. Somewhere in
the trees the trail became impossible to see and there were no foot prints to
follow anymore. No one had been back there yet it seemed and if they had they
left no trace. I lost my camera at one point when I set my pack down and it
rolled away. Signs, signs, everywhere signs and we couldn’t read them. Wouldn’t
read them. We wanted to keep going as we knew the summit was only a few miles
away but we had no choice but to make the call to turn around.
At 10am after about 12 miles of hiking we made the decision
to head back for the car. The mountain would always be there but if we kept
going and got lost there was no guarantee we would return safely if ever.
People call the holy cross wilderness the Bermuda triangle because hikers have
died back there getting lost. One man who disappeared during the summer was
only located from tent remains the following year. We didn’t want to be a
statistic so we finally listened to the universe and began the long journey
back to the car.
A year or two ago I don’t think my ego would have allowed
this type of decision. I have always reached the summit of each peak I climbed
but I won’t say there weren’t bad decisions made doing so. My ego has always
been bigger than my fear and it’s constantly urged me forward on and off the
mountain. Now that I have a child though things are different. I realize life
is not just about me and I can’t let my decisions ruin someone else’s life. Our
egos can often get the best of us and lead to decisions we ultimately regret.
It’s what gets people trapped on ledges on high peaks they can’t climb down, it’s
what causes a bulging disk in the neck from lifting too heavy, it’s what makes us
feel like superman for a moment but flat on our faces the next.
At 4pm after 26 miles of hiking and no summit, Margaret and
I made it back to the car. We didn’t have a summit under our belts but it didn’t
matter. This hike made me realize that this truly was about the journey and not
the destination. We didn’t blame each other, the weather, the mountain or the
snow. We chalked it up to experience and enjoyed the fact that at 10am on a Friday
morning we were hiking where no one else was instead of sitting behind an
office desk. We saw and experienced things most people never in their lifetime
see or get to do and for us that was enough for the day. We made plans and the
universe had others and that’s just how life can be sometime. You can be angry
or grateful for the lesson.
The best part is we get to go back again in July and
experience the mountain for a second time. I never hike mountains twice because
I have so many other peaks to obtain….but I guess the universe wants me to see
this one again.
This time I’ll be listening.
